Is waiting agony for you? For most of my life it has been torture for me. Last Sunday, the sermon shed some light on why being left hanging has been so hard in the past: the way I was handling waiting was all wrong and I was sabotaging God's solutions.
In the last
few weeks God has been specifically teaching me about this area of
waiting. The topic of the sermon was waiting and what Pastor Jason had
to say lined up perfectly with what God had already been teaching me. I
love it when God's Spirit arranges for confirmation!
So what was it in
this weeks sermon that was so helpful?
First of all, while waiting we need to embrace our vulnerability. In the
past I have been ashamed to admit my areas of vulnerability; but I recently experienced the
difference being humble and honest can make.
Last week we had a truck
incident. The dash display died, the engine light came on and it would
not shift into reverse or park. We took it in to find out what
was wrong and what it would cost to fix it. I don't know how you
respond when your vehicle breaks down but this is not a situation where I
normally shine. It's frustrating to have an unexpected
bill thrust upon me and I do not handle it well.
This particular bill
was $1500 just for parts with labour on top of that. Yikes!
In the past I freaked out about car repairs because I was never prepared for them. I would whine to God about why He would allow
our car to need repairs when He knew I would have to get the money out
of the line of credit. I was managing my life unreasonably, hoping nothing would happen instead of planning for the chance that it might. I think my coping
technique of denial was a rather poor choice. I was denying that it was
my weakness of not planning ahead that had me in such a pickle.
convicted me about half a year ago of this very fact. Since then we
have been paying into a vehicle fix fund each month. So this time, when my display
went kaput, I was not as stressed as I usually am because I had saved
some money to have it fixed.
I had faced my weakness and allowed God to
However, I am sad to say that this time, at the mention of $1500 I still freaked
out. That is a huge amount of money - way more than was in the vehicle-fix fund. It was then that I applied Point #2 from the sermon: Search for
In the past, when something bad happened, my habit was to whine to
God. (I probably don't
have to tell you that whining is really ineffective when it comes to
finding solutions to problems.) This time, I stopped the fit of
questioning fear and evil foreboding. I gave the problem to God and
then waited for Him to come through.
It is pure agony if we wait in a state of anxiety, imagining
all kind of horrendous things that might happen. I had to admit that my own weakness of responding in this
manner was not making waiting a good time for me. The problem has never
been that God was taking too long to answer - the problem was me. I
seem to be saying that a lot lately! So I admitted to God that I was
having a problem with worry, fear and hopelessness when it comes to
owing huge amounts of money to fix my truck. Admitting my vulnerability
Why did I respond automatically with fear and anxiety when faced with a
problem? I was obviously having trouble trusting God or I would have
been experiencing His peace.
It says in James that when we ask God for wisdom we should not doubt or
we will not receive from God. Could my doubt not only be causing misery
while waiting but also preventing me from receiving God's answer? In the past, when it seemed like God didn't come through, those were all times when
I was doubting that He could or would help me.
God was not silent just
for the heck of it. My doubt was preventing me from hearing His
Again the problem was me!
This time I examined myself. Why do I
feel like God will not answer me? Why do I fear the
answer and feel like God has awful things in store for me? I am not expecting God to do good things just to do things that
will "develop my character" and that I will barely make it through. (Wow, writing that down really shows how silly a thought that is.)
Search for God. I realized I
had not been finding or trusting the true God. The God I was serving
was not like the God described in the Bible. Where did I get such a
negative view of God? Satan had whispered a load of lies into my ear and I had bought them - hook, line and sinker. If you think God is
out to get you than waiting certainly is not a happy place to be. So
again, the problem is me and my wrong view of God.
But the solution is
easy - search for the real God and get reacquainted. Getting to know
the real God blew my fear and anxiety out of the water and then, with faith, I was
able to ask for wisdom - and God answered!
I gave God my truck and control of the whole situation. I renounced
fear that I might be disappointed and decided to try faith for a
change. I did not spend hordes of energy trying to figure it all
out first so I could let God know how to fix it. In the past my
bossiness would often lead to disappointment when God did not
fix it the way I wanted Him to. I put the Creator of the universe in a
box I created with my limited brain - not my most shining moment!
From now on I don't want to limit Him at all, which is why I give Him
total control of the truck situation. My job is to joyfully trust God to
sort my life out and to do what He tells me. I don't need to feel
shame that I can't fix it because my need just sends me to God who is
the strong one anyway.
That way God gets the glory. Which is how it
I searched for God and when I found the right, true One I
trusted that He was working on the situation and that He would work His plans for good. Being free from anxiety and fear made waiting so much more
fun! In fact, waiting was not even an issue because the outcome was not
something to fear but something to look forward to.
So what was God's answer? How did God help us with our truck? It is a
good thing I did not try to figure it out because vehicles are really
out of my realm. God gave the answer to my husband, who was able to
order a used part on-line and put it in himself. We
were able to cover it with the money we had saved so far in the vehicle
repair fund. God is good! Trusting instead of worrying while waiting
really is better for our stress levels! God meets our
needs! No wonder Satan has been lying to me for so long. He is the
thief who comes to steal and destroy. Jesus came that I might have life
and have it to the full!!
Kristen Webb boards horses in the country with her husband and three
daughters - one of whom has special needs. She has been part of the HMC
congregation for almost eighteen years. You can find her over at her
own blog, My Wild Ride Through The Door Of Faith.